Naming Baby

Lately, almost everyone asks me if we've picked out a name for our baby girl. Before I comment on that question, let me tell you a story:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell in love with a white pony on a mountainside field. She gave the adorable 85 year old cowboy $200 and took the white pony home. Upon arriving home with her perpetually-dirt-encrusted pony the girl was confronted with a most hideous problem. What should she call her new pony? For 2 months, the girl called the pony "Pony." 

 The barn owner's granddaughter said, "She is too sweet of a pony not to have a name." Well, that plea (and the general annoyance of not knowing what to call the new pony) finally got to the barn owner. She told Pony's owner, "You have until the end of the week to name your pony, or I will name her for you!" The name the barn owner picked out was something horrid like, "Princess Rainbow Butterfly." 

As you may have guessed, I am the girl from the story. Cricket is my pony, who was named "Pony" for 2 months. If it weren't for the tough love of Peggy, Cricket might very well still be named "Pony." 

We have discovered that we collectively have pretty SERIOUS mental hang-ups in regards to naming a baby. Much more severe than me naming a $200 perpetually-dirt-encrusted pony. I didn't know we had SOOOO MANY issues until we started to coming up with name ideas.

Before you start reading this, let me tell you something... Why YES, we are crazy people! Thanks so much for noticing!

Brittney's and Tait's Baby Naming Hang-ups:

1.) We think a name should be spelled how it sounds. 

Brittney is traditionally spelled Brittany. Tait is traditionally spelled Tate. We have both enjoyed correcting spellings our whole lives and the tragedy of not being unable to find our names on souvenir license plate keychains as children. It's annoying and when it doesn't matter, we let it slide. It doesn't matter to either of us if 80-90% of the time our names are spelled wrong. But some times it matters and I get to sound like a total snot, "Actually, it's spelled...." Again, I only do that when mandatory.

2.) We think a name should sound how it is spelled. 

3.) A name can't be too weird or impossible to pronounce. 

Since we hope our child will have the desire to be gainfully employed at some point in her life. (Kindergarten isn't too early, right?) Strange names can hurt chances of getting call backs on resumes, applications, etc. I think this generation of strangely-named kids will get to do what many immigrants have done for years. You notice that when you call a call-center in India, the person is often named, Dave, Mary, Paul, etc? 

4.) Neither of us like the idea of naming our baby after someone. 

5.) I like (kinda) unique names, but they don't adhere to Hang-Ups #1, #2, or #3 most of the time.

6.) I would like our baby's first name to clearly be a FIRST name Since Vernon can also be a first name. I have often been called Mrs. Tait because people think that Tait's first name is actually Vernon and his last name is Tait.

7.) Typically, I don't like traditionally "first" name-names. Thus, violating Hang-Up #6. 

8.) Particularly for girls, I like last-name first names. Thus, violating Hang-Up #6. 

9.) Neither of us can have (too bad of) a negative association with the name. For anyone who has played this name-game before, you know how it is. One person has a great name that was the other person's childhood nemesis = name ruined forever. There is always someone you know that has every name in the world, so you have to have some positive association, even if you aren't naming the baby after that person (which would violate Hang-Up #4). We both have wiggle room on this one. One of the names on our list is shared with an ex-girlfriend of Tait's. He says it ended well and she is a nice person, I am fine with it.

10.) I love the name Devin, Tait says it is 1 letter away from devil,
The spawn of Tait Vernon is likely to already be akin to a cracked-out Energizer baby. As we are chasing our wild toddler daughter down the street in the future, we should probably not be encouraged to call her Devil-child. 

11.) Can't have bad initials. I didn't think that initials ending in "V" could have that bad of associations. Didn't take Tait long to come up with: HIV, GOV, SUV, HOV, LUV, POV.

12.) Can't have a tease-encouraging rhyme, or nickname. Thinking of ways to mock our little daughter for bad names has been oddly hysterical! Probably because by the time we get to nickname-mocking we have each read through HUNDREDS of baby names shouting out or favorites to see if they get added to the list or booted off the list.

In light of all of this, you might interested to know that:

We have 8 names that fall on the scale between, "We Like It" and "We Kinda Like It." 

We even have 20 more names that fall into the, "We Don't Hate It" list.

By this point in the process, we are thinking to let the Hospital name her! 
Doesn't Un-Named Baby Girl Vernon have such a special ring to it!