Baby's First Trip to the ER

I wanted to write to Tennyson about her 1st trip to the ER. Please feel free to read it, but pretend that the grammar isn’t so wretched. I didn’t want to proof read it more than once. I am a tired mommy!

Enjoy the BIZARRE tale of Tennyson's 1st trip to the ER!

Baby Tennyson,

When we 1st found out we were pregnant, we wondered if we would have a boy or a girl. We both thought we were neutral. However, after your ultrasound, I asked your dad what he was thinking. He said, “I thought I was neutral, but when the tech said it was a girl I was so relieved. I was such a crazy child.” Well, as soon as you were big enough for me to feel you moving in my belly I knew you were going to be wiggly like your dad. You pushed. You kicked. You stretched and rolled. For months, you kept me up every single night from midnight to 2am for “baby karate class.”

If I had thought about it, I would have imagined a few trips to the ER in your childhood. I would have imagined you being a toddler climbing a tree or something insane. I did NOT think your 1st trip to the ER would be at 4 months old. I would not have EVER imagined it would have been something so preposterous.

For the last couple days, you were oddly fussy. Considering that you are the happiest baby in history, this was strange. We couldn’t figure it out. You have a VERY sensitive tummy, we blamed that 1^st. Was there a change in my diet? Were you having a problem with the hypoallergenic formula we use to supplement? Is the ratio of breast milk to formula a problem? We couldn’t figure it out.

Then we jumped to another blame category. We had just changed diaper brands, was that it? Did you have the tiniest (un-seeable) diaper rash? Was it something else?

I then thought you might be gassy so I took your bare feet in my hands (note: BARE feet as it factors in later in this story). I made your legs bicycle, jump, kick, and run while you laughed. It didn’t help. You stayed oddly fussy. I got you down for a nap. When you woke up, we started over. As I was changing your diaper, I noticed that you had some toe-jam. I stuck my face about 6” from your foot to get the toe jam. Then… I saw it!!!

Rachael was over at our house, I called her over and said, “I know what has been wrong with Tennyson!” There was one of my hairs looped around your middle toe. It wasn’t pulled super tight, but it was tight enough that the tip of your toe was a little red and swollen. No wonder I couldn’t figure it out! I felt relief for finding the problem, and then I was worried about your toe. I wanted the stupid hair OFF your toe. So… I… pulled.

IMMEDIATELY, I knew I had made a mistake. The hair broke. The loose ends were gone. I had pulled it tight. The tip of your toe turned redder. It started swelling. I panicked. Gratefully, Rachael was here. Thanks to her giant family and 9,876 hours of experience as a nanny, she kept her head better than I did. We got ice. I took the tiny tip of a nail file and tried to get under the hair. I made you bleed. I didn’t get the hair. Your toe got more swollen. I called your dad who was at a rental house cutting down a tree and told him to come home.

When your dad got home, he tried to get under the hair with a dental pick he uses for pottery. We think he got 1 of the layers of the hair. You got a little less swollen. You screamed. You bled.

I had a thought, “Am I REALLY about to take my baby to the ER for a HAIR?” So, I got on the phone, I called M & MK two friends who are retired Children’s Hospital nurses. With a combined 3 zillion hours of baby care between them they told me to go in. We went.

We got right into the ER. The nurse poked at your poor toe. He got a light. He got a magnifier. He failed. You screamed.

The nurse got the P.A. The P.A. got another light. He got another magnifier. He failed. You screamed.

The P.A. got the E.R. doctor. The way this doctor walked in, I knew he was an expert. There are just some people who you can see their confidence. He was grey haired, handsome, and self-assured. I felt VERY happy he was here. He had your dad hold you a different way. He got a different light. He got a different magnifier. He cut it!

By this time the hair was so tight that it was actually cutting IN to your skin. Just because the hair was cut, it wasn’t done. Your poor toe still had the hair imbedded into it. The ER doctor met me outside the room as I had stepped out (I couldn’t handle your screaming like that). He told me they were going to have to look for a “chemical solution” to this problem to dissolve the hair. People were talking about what in the world was happening at the nurse’s station. A resident came in and asked to see your fascinating toe. You were the talk of the ER. By this time, I no longer felt silly for bringing you to the ER for a hair. 

After contacting Children’s Hospital they found out the treatment was Nair! Your situation is called a “Hair Tunicate” while it is uncommon it is not unheard of. Children’s Hospital keeps Nair in stock for such occasions. Somebody from the ER was sent over to Children’s to get the Nair. They put the Nair on and rinsed it a little later. We waited for a bit and went home.

Crisis is interesting. By the time you can understand this story, you will know that your parents think failure is the best teacher, but crisis is an interesting classroom too. In this crisis I relearned some stuff I already knew and learned some new things.

Stuff I learned or relearned:

• #1: I WISH YOU COULD TALK! I wish you could have told me 2 days ago, “Hey mom, there is a hair itching my toe. Please pull it out before it wraps around my toe 900 times.”

• Your dad is GREAT in a crisis.

• I do not like things I can’t understand. While blood and guts generally don’t bug me (I wanted to watch you come out in the C-section but your dad couldn’t handle that). However, this toe thing freaked me out! If you had needed stitches, I think I could have held you through that with no problem. But this was worse. It was complicated. Everything seemed to make it worse. It was tough on me.

• People can take 1 second and be reassuring and really change a situation. While you were screaming, I took a walk to the nurse’s station. This one sweet nurse asked me if I needed anything. Then told me that it wasn’t my fault. I knew that but it was sooooo nice to hear it from someone else. The nurse and PA were so nice and kept telling me they were impressed that I even saw the hair and not to beat myself up for pulling it or not seeing it sooner.

• In the same vein, it is nice when people aren't judgmental. At the ER, I was suffering from a severe case of new-mom-homelessness (and greasiness) and your dad had LITERALLY just come from cutting down a tree. Everyone treated us with respect and professionalism. It would have been EASY to think, who gave these people a BABY to look after? It was another good reminder to me to not judge.  

• When you scream it DOES sound crazy. On one of my trips to the nurse’s station, I heard someone ask, “What is that noise?” I said, “That’s my daughter.” It was a horrid noise “Rgahh, Rgahhh, Rgahh!” Thankfully, we’ve only heard that cry 1 other time. I hope to never hear it again!

• You are a TOUGH and freakishly HAPPY tiny person! In between the times when you were pinned down with someone trying to cut your hair tunicate you weren’t crying. Even though the stupid hair was literally cutting into your flesh. And you LOVED that nurse. I couldn’t get you to smile, but you LOVED him. You smiled and chatted with him, it was adorable. Moreover, I was incredibly grateful to see you respond positively to a stranger after that whole ordeal!

• Apparently, you ARE as cute as we think you are. We overheard the nurse, PA and others talking about how you were so cute. It is pretty cute to hear men talking about how you look like a “perfect cabbage patch doll.”

• We WILL be putting Nair in the 1st aid kit in the 1 in a million chance this strange thing happens again. 

• I am successfully brain washing your dad. He ALMOST said your full name was, Tennyson Elise Wiggle Monster!

You will have many first experiences in your life. 1st ER Visit: Friday evening January 16, 2015.

We love you, please don’t need to go to the ER again.


6pm: 1st got to ER. Less swollen than at home but hair has cut in in the toe.

6:45pm 

7:05pm

The next morning. Why does it still look so sad?